Lab Cred

"Laboratory cred" is the same basic concept as street cred with one notable difference: Lab cred, once lost, is basically lost forever. For those of you who don't know what street cred is, it is defined as "Acceptability or popularity, especially among young people in urban areas" by none other than the American Heritage Dictionary (I think that is funny). Lab cred is about credibility among your laboratory peers that leads to trust and acceptance. Today I would like to talk about this phenomenon.

There are certain things that can raise your lab cred instantly such as being named Albert Einstein and being brilliant. Also, if you have a long list of past achievements demonstrating your brilliance it wouldn't hurt (e.g. nobel prize in applicable field). Otherwise you must slowly and surely build up your lab cred by small acts of brilliance and by avoiding acts of non-brilliance. I will explain.

Your lab cred can suffer significant losses for such simple mistakes as exposing everyone near you to hazardous chemicals, large spills, reckless behavior, and/or asking someone if they are pregnant when they really aren't pregnant at all. Unfortunately, as I said before, such losses are pretty permanent. Luckily, there are ways to tell your lab cred is swimming in the tiolet:

1) If everyone suddenly decides to take their break when you take out the beta mercapto ethanol.
2) If people consistently offer to do things for you when expensive equipment is involved.
3) Your friends happen to all be people who work far away from you.
4) You think you are the best-dressed person in the lab because everyone near you has started wearing clothes they don't care about.

So, now that we all understand the concept of lab cred, I'll tell you what happened yesterday. I spilled the blue liquid marker three consecutive times on the counter-top (it was a very awkward container, in my defense). I dropped an entire tray of DNA samples right in front of my coworker (her name is Lorena) after which I promptly yelled "Lorena!" in an accusatory tone. I was trying to salvage some of my remaining lab cred by blaming her, but I think my very red face told the tale. Next, I was preparing a PCR reaction that takes time both to prepare and order the components for when I dropped the only bottle of one liquid primer on the floor...with the lid off! My mouth was wide open as I watched the tube do an olympic-class gymnatics routine on the floor. When it finally came to a halt, I slowly reached for the tube. To my complete surprise and glee, not one drop of the liquid had left the bottle. Mind you, I was not joking when I said olympic-class gymnastics routine. I smiled like a child with a candy bar. Then I thought of my lab cred and slowly looked right and left to make sure my reputation was intact. To my even greater surprise, nobody had seen the gymnastics routine but me. I, with greater confidence this time, smiled like the grinch who stole chistmas (once he had stolen christmas) and continued preparing the reaction.

So, I think my lab cred is still doing okay. Also, I have not been guilty of any crazy offenses yet. Though I did accuse one of my coworkers of being pregnant once. I think I played it off well but I will never forgive myself. People who do things like that are the type of people I normally make fun of. Maybe it's just karma.... To all those individuals I have ridiculed both publicly and privately, I apologize.