Stretching

I like to jog, I like soccer, and I like (love) ultimate frisbee. Because I like those sports I've had to learn to stretch. If you don't, you deal with pain, soreness, and injuries. Some of you might not know that I recently had knee surgery where they had to put screws into my femur and drill into my tibia. It hurt(s).

To be mobile I have to work out some of the tension from the surgery and from the crutches I have to use. Stretching now is way harder than before; it hurts more. If I don't stretch, the tension in my body makes it hard to sleep and I wake up with a sore body and headaches. If I do stretch, that pain subsides in a moment and is replaced by greater wellness and calm. The pain can be intense for a second but if you push through there is greater peace than before.

(see, even lions get it)

I've been experiencing some things lately that have been very difficult for me. They go beyond a knee injury and they are specific to me. Through them I can grow and improve, but it doesn't stop me from being scared of them. It doesn't stop me from dreading those moments of stretching. They hurt. There are even days when it would just be so much easier to quit, stay in bed or emotionally check out for the day. I might even think I can avoid some of that pain, or at least postpone it. It isn't true. Those reactions only stunt my growth.

Though sometimes I need reminding, I believe in stretching. I believe it reduces tension, overall pain, soreness, and injuries while increasing our calm, relaxation, wellness, and chance for continued muscle growth. Spiritually, I believe it allows each and every one of us the opportunity to be shaped and molded into celestial beings who will recognize the great Redeemer when he comes. All we have to do is push through the discomfort, refusing to give up on, postpone, or sidestep our chance to become.

Believing

The other night I was studying my scriptures at the end of a very long day. It was late and I was tired. My brain wasn't working at peak efficiency. I'm a curious person and sometimes I try to explain the things I observe around me. This time, I didn't have answers to the questions my brain was asking. Doubts started to creep in.

I realized I couldn't explain some of the things I believe with my current understanding. In fact, there are lots of answers I don't have. In that moment I remember thinking to myself "I choose to believe. I don't know the answers, but I believe anyway." I'm not saying this because I'm a great example of faith, but because I learned something I want to share.

Faith is a choice. Is doesn't spring from knowing the answer, and it isn't something you can work through in your mind. True faith involves choosing to believe even when you don't have a good explanation. Maybe everybody else already knew that, but as I grow older it has become increasingly more important for me to be okay not having the answers.

When those moments of doubt or uncertainty creep in, I hope that you and I will always choose to believe and exercise faith. I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and that the Atonement is real. That knowledge means everything to me. Merry Christmas, and I hope you feel the true spirit of the season.

Flattery will absolutely work

I've come to a critical realization in my life today: I am influenced by flattery. It wasn't a stunning revelation, I'd had my suspicions for months. However, today's evidence proves it conclusively.

I was sitting in my Evolutionary Biology class minding my own business when my professor started to talk about a super exciting topic: stick bugs. Don't judge me too hastily, they are cool. Since you aren't science geeks I'm not going to try and explain why. They just are. He asked the class a specific and difficult question about their development and I knew the answer. It was one of those moments where my brain was working at peak efficiency and I reached the answer before he even asked the question. Cue "Pomp and Circumstance"...

Time slowed down as my teacher said "Very good! In all my time teaching this class I've never had anyone answer that question as effectively and completely as you just did. So, good job." Applause broke out as I waved my hand and thanked my admirers...Okay, the teacher did say all that, but...maybe the music and the applause was only in my head. I left my class that day feeling like the nerd version of a million bucks. I had answered the teacher's "Expert" level question.

The teacher that mere moments before I'd been thinking was disorganized and repetitive was now on my Christmas list. How?! Flattery my friends. I'd actually been thinking about the review I was going to write for his class and the points I was going to give poor marks, and then he asked that question and I folded like a lawn chair.

On the plus side, now I know what to tell interviewers when they ask me what weaknesses I have. "I care to much" was becoming a bit unbelievable.

The Christmas Controversy

There is just something about Mormons, and possibly with people in general - maybe I've been in Utah too long - where they start playing Christmas music whenever they want to. Most of these free-thinkers start playing Christmas music November 1st. Since Lehi was right about opposition in all things, there's a counter-current that believes playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving is borderline sacrilege. As a free-thinker I chafe at categorization...but I listen to Christmas music whenever it tickles my fancy.

There are times in the middle of a beautiful summer where I pull out my Josh Groban Christmas CD and listen to a few of my favorites. Why? Because I can. There are also occasions when I think watching Elf and The Grinch are great activities regardless of the month. Similarly, I believe reading A Christmas Carol is suitably uplifting for any season. For the record, I'm sure Charles Dickens agrees with me.

So, to all those who vocally or silently groan when they hear me playing Josh Groban, Bing Crosby, or even John Denver and the Muppets Christmas albums: I don't actually care what you think. To all the free-thinkers out there who listen to Christmas music whenever they feel like it, I salute you.

So, whether you think it's too early or whether you are secretly listening to "Silver Bells" while you study, Happy Holidays!

Repent Ye, Repent Ye!

Today I was walking (crutch-ing) up to the library to do some homework. Just as I was about 12 feet away from the doors, two guys came out, opening both the double doors. I watched as both of them let the doors swing shut right in front of me. The girl who was walking behind me rushed ahead and opened the doors for me before I could do it myself.

I don't need people to hold the door open for me, but it's a kind gesture that saves me time and energy. Though I'm getting really good at being on crutches, doors are still challenging and I appreciate the help. Having said that, what the crap guys?! How were you so clueless that you didn't see the kid in the 26" brace who was right in front of you?! Hint: I was the one on crutches. It was disappointing because they were oblivious to everything but themselves.

We come home from missions, we go to Elders Quorum and Relief Society and we study our scriptures. We talk about virtues and ways to improve. But, we wake up in the morning, look at our "To Do" lists, and put on our blinders. If I pray morning and night for opportunities to lift others and serve then I should leave the blinders at home.

I wonder how many times I've prayed for opportunities to serve and then walked right past them because I was late to class/hungry/day-dreaming. No more blinders. No more letting the door slam in the face of people who need my help.

Bwahaha! I win.

I have been wearing a cast for the past three weeks. I'll just say that it has been a good experience, but it's been hard. Crutches stink, and not being able to use your leg also stinks. But yesterday I switched doctors and I'm getting the cast off tomorrow. Turns out it's good to get a second opinion.

I was just sitting here at my computer working away when I got a magical text message from the student health center. It said "reminder: You have an appointment with Dr. Schow tomorrow at 9:00 AM". I smiled really big, leaned back in my chair, and pressed repeat on La Vie en Rose by Louis Armstong.

Then, over gChat, I pretended to plan with my friend a day trip to Paris. Because when I'm pretending, I'm rich and have a private jet. And we eat at a little cafe where we can watch the sunset over Paris and listen to some uncharacteristically good musician on the street corner. And since we're pretending to be rich, we give that musician a really nice tip. But, we're only pretending.
You know what isn't pretending though? I'm getting this dumb cast off tomorrow. And that might as well be a Paris sunset as far as I'm concerned.

TMFW

Dear Future Wife,

Sometimes I get angry and send text messages, emails, or letters that I will regret moments after clicking send. They tell me that recognizing it is the first step. They haven't told me what the second step is though...

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Proof-read my angry texts, emails, letters, and correspondences. In return, I'll run interference between you and the rest of the world when your hormones are going crazy. Deal?

Gratefully,

Your Future Husband

Holy Crap!

In my dresser, in the fourth drawer down, I have a pair of pants I reserve for special occasions - my sassy pants. I used them just last Monday when a kid who used to live at our house walked in, opened my cupboard and took some of my baking supplies. In the next drawer down, under everything else (I don't wear them often) are my more special *Insert string of expletives* pants. On Friday, I got them out, dusted them off, and took 'em for a ride to Doctor Smith's office.

I expected him to tell me the injury I sustained playing ultimate frisbee was nothing, or maybe that we would have to do some scans to check for cartilage damage. After 50 minutes of waiting I went and asked the lovely young lady why I was still waiting for the right honorable doctor. She said she didn't know. Luckily, the doctor chose that crucial moment to appear.

The doctor began by telling me I have an Osteochondrital dissecans, or a piece of my knee had chipped off. He told me that I'd have to wear a 26" cast on my leg for the next six weeks and walk around exclusively on crutches. He then picked up the phone and recorded his notes from the visit while the nurse told me to lift my leg so she could attach the brace/cast. Within 10 minutes of walking in, I was crutch-ing out of there in a complete daze. I could have been standing in the Himalayas with a beer in my hand, naked with my head shaved and I probably wouldn't have realized it. But, in his defense, the doctor had places to go.

In his hurry, he forgot to give me a handicapped parking permit form. So, for the last 4 days I've had to park at the bottom of the hill leading up to campus and then begin a 10 minute crutch-assisted walk up the hill and stairs to get to class/work/take tests etc. After walking up the hill and checking out my gigantic blisters, I wanted to punch that doctor in the face repeatedly then give him a handicapped parking permit.

That doctor and I are going to have a level 5 Come to Jesus Meeting next time we chat. Or maybe I'll just shave his head and leave him naked in the Himalayas...with a non-alcoholic beer in his hand. I bet that will open up his schedule quite a bit.

TMFW: Dentures

I do this thing almost every night where I go in to talk with my roommate before he goes to bed. We talk about girls, work, classes, church - but never the weather. Sometimes all of us just sit and watch YouTube videos. Inevitably I end up laying down in my bed as we continue the conversation. This is where I slowly start to drift off.

Then I have to remind myself that I haven't brushed my teeth yet. Let the inner battle rage. In my semi-asleep state it seems like a reasonable option to simply drift off without polishing my pearly-whites. On the other hand, even in my semi-asleep state I know that dentures are a tragedy.

All you have to do is mention the word dentures and I'll get up and brush my teeth. In fact, I'll probably floss and rinse with Listerine to be safe. I just wanted to let you know in advance... my teeth are counting on you.

Accidental Expert

I spend a lot of time on the phone for my job. It's not my favorite part of the job description. On the other hand, it isn't my least favorite part either. My least favorite part: "Please continue to hold for the next available representative. Your call is important to us." Then cue the awful music they've selected.

However, not all hold music was created equal. Some companies have audio books playing, others (BYU) have nice classical music, still others apply the tried and true cheap jazz music. I'm going to take this opportunity to give out the awards for best and worst.

BEST: Today I called a company (Newegg) and their hold "music" was the sound of rainfall and thunder. I grew up falling asleep to that sound. I might call them back next time I'm stressed.

WORST: Xerox LLC has become the reason I have a blacklist. They play the same pointless 25 second segment of uninspiring music over and over again interrupted only by a woman telling you why Xerox is the best. They aren't the best. They are the worst. That makes them liars and horrible selectors of music.

I didn't mean to become an expert on hold music. It just happened. I don't think that's a skill I can put on a resume.

Fun Fact

The phrase "Don't Mess With Texas!" was coined in the 1980's as part of a project to reduce highway litter. It has nothing to do with the Alamo, Sam Houston, or anything else that's remotely cool. It was to stop Texans from throwing their beer cans out the window.

Since we're on the topic, Texas is not the best state in the union. Not even close. Let me name some reasons it falls short:

1) Bigger isn't always better. Ex: Fezik was defeated by The Dread Pirate Roberts.
2) Football is a hobby, not the substance of life.
3) Your flag looks almost identical to a country. Chile had the flag first. Be creative.
4) Texas is neither the biggest (AK), the most populous (CA), or even the prettiest (debatable).
5) Your highest point is a place you can take senior citizens on a day hike.
6) You didn't invent barbeque, contrary to popular Texas opinion.

Having said that, I wish Texas the very best in their quest to reduce highway litter.

How many vicious kittens could you take?

Today I went kayaking in the Great Salt Lake. One less thing on my bucket list...but that's not the point of this post. Kittens are the point of this post - and not for the reasons you'd think.

As we were loading our kayaks into the water we noticed thousands of large black spiders in the grass beside the dock. They were the sort of spiders that trap and eat dragon flies. They were the big kind. One of my friends is terrified of spiders. To make the situation lighter I said a thousand of just about anything staring at me would be rather creepy. I said that even a couple thousand kittens quietly, and intensely staring at me would be thoroughly terrifying.

The conversation naturally shifted to how many vicious kittens we each thought we could take. Then we asked ourselves what the most efficient kitten-killer would be. The winner: flamethrower. So, the next time you are attacked by a couple thousand vicious kittens I hope you have a flamethrower handy. Kitten attacks can be ugly. At least, that's what I've heard.

Dear Audience...whoever you are...

This is for the guy who found my blog by searching for the phrase "Captain planet T-shirt". This is for my friend's aunt who thinks my blog is awesome. This is also for my Mom, who until recently didn't know why I named my blog as I did. This is for my cubscout leader from when I was a kid. And This is for "Anonymous", whoever you are. Some explanation:

Throughout my life I've experienced the familiar dramatic changes that occur in the first 20 or so years of one's life. However, one thing has always been constant: my blue shirt. Since I can remember my favorite shirt has always been blue, different shades and different shirts, but always blue. My two all-time favorites have been navy blue and royal blue. The point is, one of the simple things that remains constant in my life no matter where I am and who I'm with is my blue shirt. Maybe it makes me feel at home when I open my drawer and can put on my blue shirt on that first day of a crazy semester in a new house. Or maybe it just reminds me of who I am and where I come from. In any case, that's how my blog got it's name.

I started my blog when I went to Chile to do an internship at the national laboratory working on a genetics project with huge opportunities and applications. I was more than a little nervous and so excited I literally couldn't sit still. I wanted to be able to let the people I love know what was going on during my trip, so I started the blog. For the record, one of the other things that has been constant in my life is my family, and I needed for them to share in my experience. I started this blog for them, but it's a little more now.

So, whatever you're reason for reading and whatever the search phrase you used, now you know.

THIS is why being single sucks

Look at the following scenarios and try to answer honestly. Note: Any resemblance of this post to actual people and real circumstances is...purely coincidental.

1) Your roommate asks you to help him cook for a bunch of people that are coming over for a football party (NOT your party), then asks you a couple days later when you're going to clean up your dishes. What color does your face turn?

2) Your roommate opens a can of chili for dinner and decides he doesn't actually want it. He leaves it there, opened and untouched, for over two days. You go into the kitchen several days after to clean up and find this sitting on the counter. If your anger were a shape (rocket launcher, battle axe, grenade, light saber), what would it be?


3) In desperation you stop cleaning the house so maybe your roommates will start cleaning - at least sometimes. Your house subsequently starts to smell like a bacterial science laboratory and they still don't budge. At this point, how would you characterize your mood?

4) You make a delicious dinner and ask your roommate (not your favorite but you're trying to be nice) if he wants some. He responds by dishing up a huge portion then taking four bites and leaving the rest for the flies. Which blunt object comes to mind first?

5) You've been telling your roommate for a couple weeks now about a girl you want to ask out. Just after going on your first date with her, he asks her out. You only find out because the girl sees both of you and laughs at the coincidence that you are roommates. Yes...what a coincidence. What action do you take as soon as she walks away?

Depending on your answers, you may want to consider not being single.

The Unexpected Stuff

I spent this weekend in Southern Utah at Zion's National Park - one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. While there I went to church at a nearby ward. Sacrament meeting was last and we arrived a bit late, so we shuffled directly into the sacrament meeting room where people were gathering.

Side note: in primary I used to love playing any song I knew. I'd only been taking piano lessons for a year but I would rush up with my "simplified hymns" songbook and accompany the primary. To this day I can't (neither can my mom) believe I did that...on a regular basis.

Fast-forward: I was sitting in the chapel listening to all the people chatting loudly as we waited for the meeting to start. I tried to think of what I could do to help people quiet down and get ready for the sacrament and decided to go up and play prelude. My friend from that ward looked at me weird when I told him, but I went anyway and played for a bit. When a man with a lesson manual stood in front of the class I realized it wasn't sacrament, it was sunday school. People normally don't play prelude for sunday school, but they probably didn't think I was normal. I slowly closed the piano and went back to my seat with a slightly embarrassed grin on my face. "Oh well", I thought, "none of these people will remember me five minutes from now." I spoke too soon.

The teacher thanked me for playing and said "that fits perfectly in with the lesson today." My grin slowly went away. "How many of you could describe, without looking around, the person who was just playing prelude? What can you tell me about him?" About midway through his question I began to wish I'd been a little less proactive and left the piano alone. Then I wished I'd been a little slower getting ready for church. As he finished his question, my wishing focused more on hoping their comments would be kosher. It only takes one crazy old lady with a crazy sense of humor and suddenly my face is making fresh tomatoes look pale. Luckily, they only said I had hair that wasn't receding and I was probably married. It's sad that the one fact they got right was that I didn't have a receding hair line. Still, it could've been worse.

I couldn't help but laugh at having played prelude for sunday school in a ward I've never attended before and then being used for a mildly embarrassing object lesson. Thanks Orderville, Utah for keeping me on my toes.

A Little Music

People always say that it's just the stage of life I'm in, but there are moments when I have no idea where I'll be 6 months from now or what I'll be doing then. That's a little frustrating. On my better days I do what I can and plan what I can and leave the rest to the Lord.

On my not so good days I try to push the envelope and force things to happen. Somebody really wise told me that trying to do things in my timetable rather than the Lord's is like putting a masterful symphony on fast-forward. It isn't a masterful symphony without the precise timing.

Things to think about.

Tender Mercies

Maybe I'm using the phrase 'tender mercy' a little bit loosely. But for me, tender mercies come in lots of shapes and sizes. Por ejemplo (for example):

Today I woke up 15 minutes before class started despite my very best intentions. I quickly looked through my clothes to make sure I had something clean to wear. Check. I quickly dressed and ran to look in the mirror to see if my hair was presentable after a long night of making sweet love to my pillow. Check. I grabbed a potassium stick (banana), and a can of Altoids and ran out the door. I made it to class on time and looking great (and with freakishly minty breath).

= Tender Mercy

Blue Sky and Green Grass

Yesterday I was laying on a stretch of beautiful green grass in the middle of campus watching as the sun moved behind one of my favorite buildings, crossing paths with cotton clouds made gold by the afternoon sun. And for just a second everything was just fine; I was completely content. Do you have moments like that? Do you have moments where, even momentarily, you feel gratitude and peace rather than the longing and turmoil of the daily race? I hope you do.

It doesn't mean that nothing is going wrong in your life. For instance, as I was laying there my leg was bandaged and my crutches were right beside me. I was en route to see if someone had turned my only set of car keys in to the lost and found after I'd lost them the night I hurt my leg. The future looked just as uncertain as always and there weren't any magical answers written in those clouds. However, for once it didn't matter.

This week I learned that so often we expect perfection and flawless execution from ourselves and from our lives, but this life will never be perfect. On the other hand, if we took a moment to think about all the wonderful things we've accomplished, the lives we've touched, the blessings we've received and the wonderful people around us - with all that on my mind it's hard to wish for anything more.

I think life is perfect, or at least perfectly designed for people on their way to perfection. Take the time to find a nice patch of green grass underneath a big blue sky. Maybe there will even be some nice white clouds floating by. Whatever the case, I hope you take the time to find peace and be grateful. Because whether it's perfect or imperfect, life is way too short to rush.

Twins: An (Awesome) Abomination

Can I get some points for alliteration. I deserve them and you know it. Now, on to a more important topic.

I think people should wear tags that mention the fact that they have a twin. That would make life much less complicated in the cases when that's a factor. Case A: I have a friend. Don't act so surprised. He is married. One day I saw him with a very different woman in the cafeteria and they were acting very couple-ish. I'll let you fill in the rest of the details. Let's just say there was enough nervous laughter to make a sixth-grade dance look positively peaceful.

Case B: Today I said hello to a girl I know, only to find out that she has a twin and the one I was talking to was the wrong one. In other words, "you don't actually know me." Awkward.

Case C: There's another kid that I met on the folk dance team (yeah, I'm cool) and when he added me on facebook his profile picture was of him and his twin. From then on I hesitated to say hello to him because I wasn't sure which one it was. After months of nervous uncertainty I found out his profile picture was just a trick with mirrors. He doesn't have a twin. Aren't you outraged?! The lies, the deceit!

And although almost entirely unrelated, my little brother would mention that the Minnesota Twins baseball team is composed almost exclusively of savages. So take that for what it's worth.

We need to have all twins get registered and wear tags to alert the unsuspecting world to their presence: 'Hi, my name is: Anita (twin)'. I just wanted to open a dialogue on this issue. Think about it.

My Job: Love/Hate

There are quite a few things in life that I don't understand. I'd like to address one of those today in hopes that you can help me come to grips. Issue: Why is it that elevator music, though intended to calm and sooth, actually makes you want to club a baby seal the longer you listen to it?

Today I listened to stupid semi-jazzy, semi-pointless, super redundant "elevator" music while I was on the phone with one of the dozen companies I have to call per day. Normally I can find joy in making the people laugh on the other end of the line, but once I exceed 25 minutes of listening to the same song over and over again while on hold, my smile fades and I put on my angry eyes.

My favorite is when they come back to the phone 4 or 5 times to ask you more questions that they should have asked you in the first place. I just love it because it extends the amount of time I get to listen to that semi-"drive-you-insane" music.

I've been trapped in two elevators in my time and I hated it both time. However, I just count my many blessings that there wasn't actually elevator music in the elevators. I'm pretty sure the combination of an entire MiaMaid group and that semi-horrible music would have been ugly...to put it lightly.