Twins: An (Awesome) Abomination

Can I get some points for alliteration. I deserve them and you know it. Now, on to a more important topic.

I think people should wear tags that mention the fact that they have a twin. That would make life much less complicated in the cases when that's a factor. Case A: I have a friend. Don't act so surprised. He is married. One day I saw him with a very different woman in the cafeteria and they were acting very couple-ish. I'll let you fill in the rest of the details. Let's just say there was enough nervous laughter to make a sixth-grade dance look positively peaceful.

Case B: Today I said hello to a girl I know, only to find out that she has a twin and the one I was talking to was the wrong one. In other words, "you don't actually know me." Awkward.

Case C: There's another kid that I met on the folk dance team (yeah, I'm cool) and when he added me on facebook his profile picture was of him and his twin. From then on I hesitated to say hello to him because I wasn't sure which one it was. After months of nervous uncertainty I found out his profile picture was just a trick with mirrors. He doesn't have a twin. Aren't you outraged?! The lies, the deceit!

And although almost entirely unrelated, my little brother would mention that the Minnesota Twins baseball team is composed almost exclusively of savages. So take that for what it's worth.

We need to have all twins get registered and wear tags to alert the unsuspecting world to their presence: 'Hi, my name is: Anita (twin)'. I just wanted to open a dialogue on this issue. Think about it.