Blue Sky and Green Grass

Yesterday I was laying on a stretch of beautiful green grass in the middle of campus watching as the sun moved behind one of my favorite buildings, crossing paths with cotton clouds made gold by the afternoon sun. And for just a second everything was just fine; I was completely content. Do you have moments like that? Do you have moments where, even momentarily, you feel gratitude and peace rather than the longing and turmoil of the daily race? I hope you do.

It doesn't mean that nothing is going wrong in your life. For instance, as I was laying there my leg was bandaged and my crutches were right beside me. I was en route to see if someone had turned my only set of car keys in to the lost and found after I'd lost them the night I hurt my leg. The future looked just as uncertain as always and there weren't any magical answers written in those clouds. However, for once it didn't matter.

This week I learned that so often we expect perfection and flawless execution from ourselves and from our lives, but this life will never be perfect. On the other hand, if we took a moment to think about all the wonderful things we've accomplished, the lives we've touched, the blessings we've received and the wonderful people around us - with all that on my mind it's hard to wish for anything more.

I think life is perfect, or at least perfectly designed for people on their way to perfection. Take the time to find a nice patch of green grass underneath a big blue sky. Maybe there will even be some nice white clouds floating by. Whatever the case, I hope you take the time to find peace and be grateful. Because whether it's perfect or imperfect, life is way too short to rush.

Twins: An (Awesome) Abomination

Can I get some points for alliteration. I deserve them and you know it. Now, on to a more important topic.

I think people should wear tags that mention the fact that they have a twin. That would make life much less complicated in the cases when that's a factor. Case A: I have a friend. Don't act so surprised. He is married. One day I saw him with a very different woman in the cafeteria and they were acting very couple-ish. I'll let you fill in the rest of the details. Let's just say there was enough nervous laughter to make a sixth-grade dance look positively peaceful.

Case B: Today I said hello to a girl I know, only to find out that she has a twin and the one I was talking to was the wrong one. In other words, "you don't actually know me." Awkward.

Case C: There's another kid that I met on the folk dance team (yeah, I'm cool) and when he added me on facebook his profile picture was of him and his twin. From then on I hesitated to say hello to him because I wasn't sure which one it was. After months of nervous uncertainty I found out his profile picture was just a trick with mirrors. He doesn't have a twin. Aren't you outraged?! The lies, the deceit!

And although almost entirely unrelated, my little brother would mention that the Minnesota Twins baseball team is composed almost exclusively of savages. So take that for what it's worth.

We need to have all twins get registered and wear tags to alert the unsuspecting world to their presence: 'Hi, my name is: Anita (twin)'. I just wanted to open a dialogue on this issue. Think about it.

My Job: Love/Hate

There are quite a few things in life that I don't understand. I'd like to address one of those today in hopes that you can help me come to grips. Issue: Why is it that elevator music, though intended to calm and sooth, actually makes you want to club a baby seal the longer you listen to it?

Today I listened to stupid semi-jazzy, semi-pointless, super redundant "elevator" music while I was on the phone with one of the dozen companies I have to call per day. Normally I can find joy in making the people laugh on the other end of the line, but once I exceed 25 minutes of listening to the same song over and over again while on hold, my smile fades and I put on my angry eyes.

My favorite is when they come back to the phone 4 or 5 times to ask you more questions that they should have asked you in the first place. I just love it because it extends the amount of time I get to listen to that semi-"drive-you-insane" music.

I've been trapped in two elevators in my time and I hated it both time. However, I just count my many blessings that there wasn't actually elevator music in the elevators. I'm pretty sure the combination of an entire MiaMaid group and that semi-horrible music would have been ugly...to put it lightly.

TMFW: For Your Information

1) I am a closet fat kid. I don't even know you yet and I can safely say I love food more than you do. However, I also love exercising.

2) I don't often care about watching sports but I love playing sports. So you might not think I'm the type, but I get really into games (it might be genetic). Please don't ever let me punch anybody...

3) I'm no good at having in-depth conversations while listening to music or when the TV is on. It might look like I'm totally focused on you but I'm really not. Luckily, both of those things can be turned off.

4) I'm not one of those kids that just hums or quietly sings while in the shower. I perform full-scale concerts. I hope you either sleep really deeply or are good at mornings...

5) Places you should never let me go by myself: the spice aisle, sports authority, music stores, costco. I could get lost in there. But if you don't let me go there by mself then I'll always take you to the temple. Deal?

I'm glad we've had this talk.

The Best and the Worst

I have a friend that's been in a treatment facility for eating disorders. She is slowly getting better and we're all so glad to see the improvements. The other day she came with my roommates to pick me up from the airport and we got to talk.

She said that many women struggle with eating disorders because their value is based on things that are transient: the constant approval and validation of others, the feeling that you are above average (comparison), or other world measures of success such as cars, boats, homes, callings etc.

Some of that comes from the way people are brought up. Sometimes we are quick to pay a compliment like this "you are the best at that!" or "you are better than everybody else on the team!" That accolade makes your value a function of others (better than, best, -est). Why can't we just tell them that they're great or awesome at it, making their value independant of others. Then, no matter whether you are the best, middle of the road, or even the last to be picked on the playground, you will still know who you are.

Most importantly, the best cure for comparison is to base your value on something more permanent. We are children of God and as such our value is based on our potential to create worlds without number. And if that definition seems a little beyond you, the fact that Heavenly Father loves you more than you can possibly imagine and will always love you with such fierceness should give you pause for thought.
Have you ever had one of those moments where you felt, even for a brief moment, how much
He loves you. I have had some of those moments and they are life changing experiences. Let's believe Him.

WHAT? Captain Planet isn't real?!

Since coming back from my mission I've repeatedly returned to think about what it means to be a real man. Like it or not, I've been given crappy definitions by a lot of sources throughout my life. My Dad is awesome and my brothers are pretty cool, but I watched a little too much TV. Here are some examples of real men that I've met recently:

Today I went to the park and a few people asked us if we wanted to play soccer with them. My team was down a player and the people on the other team were good, except for a 14 year-old that was playing with his college age brother. I was focused on winning and playing my best because my teammates weren't exactly David Beckham. The older brother, Ben, sacrificed his clearly competitive nature in order to make sure his younger brother had a confidence building experience and a good time. He repeatedly gave the ball to his brother and created opportunities for the awkward kid to score and be successful, even when it meant a lost opportunity. I can still picture that skinny fourteen year old pumping his fists in the air and smiling because he did it. Maybe it doesn't sound like much, but as I played against them I was taught by the powerful example of this outstanding young man. He was a man.

There is a guy I always see working at the grocery store where I shop. The other day I saw him walking across campus carrying a book bag and the scruff that suggested he doesn't get enough sleep. The next time I saw the guy at the grocery store I asked him if he was a student and he said yes. I noticed the wedding ring on his hand and it all came together. This guy was working and going to school full time to support his family and gain an education. he was sacrificing so much for his family and their future. I was and am impressed by his dedication.

I was watching "Human Planet" the other night as they documented an isolated community high in the frozen mountains of Nepal. The people there can only gain an elementary education unless they travel 50 miles to the nearest city. To get there, they have to travel one of the most dangerous routes in the world. The path is a semi-frozen river surrounded on either side by steep cliffs. One particular man makes the 50 mile trip at the beginning of each school year to ensure that his children gain an education. After finally arriving in the city, the father takes each of his children and says "I love you. Study hard. I'll call and send money." He hugs them for a moment then watches as they enter the school that will be there home for the next 6 months. Then he walks the 50 miles back to his home. That, is a man.

I want to understand what my role in Heavenly Father's estimation is and then follow that.

Running in the Rain

Yesterday began at 5:00 AM for me as I got up to prepare for a 7:00 AM final. I finished the final then came back home, ate and collapsed on my bed for a solid three hours. When I got up it was still rainy and cool outside, so I decided to go running.

I put on my beanie and put my super awesome iPod shuffle in my ears and headed up into the hills to go running. I loved every second of it.

The spring rain falls on your face and drips off your nose as you jog through uncharacteristically beautiful hills. On your iPod you listen to Jack Johnson, Amos Lee, Chris Merritt and others. You stop at the top just to see how far up you are and enjoy the great view of the valley and Utah Lake. You breathe the air for just a second and maybe even sing along to the song.

As long as I have those moments, I don't think it will matter how tough life gets.