Thursday, September 15, 2011

TMFW: Dentures

I do this thing almost every night where I go in to talk with my roommate before he goes to bed. We talk about girls, work, classes, church - but never the weather. Sometimes all of us just sit and watch YouTube videos. Inevitably I end up laying down in my bed as we continue the conversation. This is where I slowly start to drift off.

Then I have to remind myself that I haven't brushed my teeth yet. Let the inner battle rage. In my semi-asleep state it seems like a reasonable option to simply drift off without polishing my pearly-whites. On the other hand, even in my semi-asleep state I know that dentures are a tragedy.

All you have to do is mention the word dentures and I'll get up and brush my teeth. In fact, I'll probably floss and rinse with Listerine to be safe. I just wanted to let you know in advance... my teeth are counting on you.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Accidental Expert

I spend a lot of time on the phone for my job. It's not my favorite part of the job description. On the other hand, it isn't my least favorite part either. My least favorite part: "Please continue to hold for the next available representative. Your call is important to us." Then cue the awful music they've selected.

However, not all hold music was created equal. Some companies have audio books playing, others (BYU) have nice classical music, still others apply the tried and true cheap jazz music. I'm going to take this opportunity to give out the awards for best and worst.

BEST: Today I called a company (Newegg) and their hold "music" was the sound of rainfall and thunder. I grew up falling asleep to that sound. I might call them back next time I'm stressed.

WORST: Xerox LLC has become the reason I have a blacklist. They play the same pointless 25 second segment of uninspiring music over and over again interrupted only by a woman telling you why Xerox is the best. They aren't the best. They are the worst. That makes them liars and horrible selectors of music.

I didn't mean to become an expert on hold music. It just happened. I don't think that's a skill I can put on a resume.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Fun Fact

The phrase "Don't Mess With Texas!" was coined in the 1980's as part of a project to reduce highway litter. It has nothing to do with the Alamo, Sam Houston, or anything else that's remotely cool. It was to stop Texans from throwing their beer cans out the window.

Since we're on the topic, Texas is not the best state in the union. Not even close. Let me name some reasons it falls short:

1) Bigger isn't always better. Ex: Fezik was defeated by The Dread Pirate Roberts.
2) Football is a hobby, not the substance of life.
3) Your flag looks almost identical to a country. Chile had the flag first. Be creative.
4) Texas is neither the biggest (AK), the most populous (CA), or even the prettiest (debatable).
5) Your highest point is a place you can take senior citizens on a day hike.
6) You didn't invent barbeque, contrary to popular Texas opinion.

Having said that, I wish Texas the very best in their quest to reduce highway litter.